(Love) in the Mo(U)rning

We woke with tears falling from our heart’s eyes like question marks
Yesterday’s nightmare hangs over today
Like a cloud suffocating our joy
We try to find spring in each other’s eyes
But instead I see iris full of burden
Heavy, as one who inherited war
Most days we are tired of raising fist
We are exhausted from arguing
We pray
Wondering if last night’s prayers went straight to voicemail
Maybe we were fools
For thinking a resolution would show up at the door
We’ve spent years waiting for a whisper of hope
At this point we’ve lost count of how many times we’ve been through this
But the sting is still potent as ever
Still pierces deeper into this soul
Threatening to break my faith like wave on sandcastle
I know no remedy for all the unslept nights
For the fear that comes knowing control is an illusion
No idea how to wield this alchemy of anger and lament
How do we find healing when
Our fragility is constantly being tested?

Last night we sat at the edge of our sanity
Cursed the air as if it could purge our pain
Silence echoed as tragedy tried to hollow us
I saw your scars and I buckled, once again
Tried to find the right words
But comfort is so elusive
Peace be hard to find
This home does not always welcome us
This world has become too comfortable with our pain
It will occupy itself with the trivial
Before trying to decipher what is tucked beneath these half-way smiles
Hidden behind the facades of automated responses
The world does not have time to grieve with us
And though these days may weigh us down
Sometimes us is all we got
Beloved, I promise to love you in the mourning


There is blood on the streets
On car seat, on living room carpet, on church floors
On the hands of a killer who got to go to sleep last night
It turns out gun and rope are just cousins
The cost of living seems to be measured by melanin
And one drop is still too expensive in this land
Last night another man was murdered
A mother lost her child
Or a child lost their mother
Lives stolen
All because their skin was perceived to be a weapon
We are suspended in a strange disbelief
With justice absent as we've become so accustomed to
But we are no longer surprised
Not deceived by the mirage of a great America
We got a long way to go..

But listen, this is no elegy
Each breath you take is a victory song
Your existence personifies resilience
Mocking defeat because yeah, you are still here
Gliding through the traffic of despair
Unwilling to crack
You are a harmony of courage
Magic in the concert of your innovative joy
You fly with hope pumping through your veins
Singing “We shall overcome, one day”
And each day we rise
Striving towards our promised deliverance
Promised redemption, promised liberation
And as we persevere
Eyes watching God
Waiting for an answer
Waiting for that great day to come
I promise to love you in the mourning

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