Carpe Diem

Well, I was invited by a friend to Mira Mesa's See You at the Pole this morning, so I went. I was blessed to see how God is working at this school as well as the fruits of past leaders, including myself. Although I start school tomorrow, I know that it will be a lot different from high school, which I will miss. There are a few things in particular that hit me pretty hard when I think about them. First of all, I know I won't be playing football, mainly because my school is lame and doesn't have a team. It's one of the few things I have a passion for. I think about it every day and wish I had the chance to go back and experience it all again, from practices to game days. I hardly ever say I deserve anything, but I feel like I deserved a lot more than what I got. I know I worked harder than anyone on that team, except for maybe a couple, if even. I put in work on my own, spent extra hours in the weight room, pushed myself in practice, never complained, did all the little things and so much more. But I ended my career with only a couple catches and was in for three plays in my last game ever. It broke my heart. I had a tough time dealing with it in the following months and it's even tough for me now. I poured my heart out for months and months because I loved it so much. For that. I wish I did more. I wish I worked harder. I wish I had more fun. I wish I got closer to some people. But more importantly I wish I was a stronger witness. I knew my role on the team was to be the spiritual leader, as I had the strongest relationship with God. I prayed constantly for the team, said the team prayer before games, shared my faith with teammates, but I wish I did more. That's the other thing I'm going to miss about high school. The interaction with people. You get to see the same people every day. You've known some of them for years, maybe your whole life. And with this, you get a great opportunity to witness to them. Towards the end of my senior year, I became pretty selfish. I wanted to do my own thing and was worried about myself. I was fed up with people. I isolated myself. At the same time, my walk with God got weaker. I knew it too. But my focus was on me. I just wanted to finish high school so I could move on with my life. The senior year I was looking forward to, the one I said I was gonna make the most of, became one of the biggest lessons I've learned. There are times when I wonder if I really made an impact on people. And whatever impact I did make, I know it could have been stronger. This morning I reflected on what I did in high school, and thought about how the students have the opportunity to do so much. I hope that those in high school realize how blessed they are and make the most of it. Forget what people say. Allow God to work in and through you. Stop complaining about every little thing because when you're done, you'll complain about how you miss it. And you hear this all the time but it will go by quickly. You can look forward to all you want. You can talk about how you're going to do this and that and how God has amazing things in store. He does, and He wants to use you for it but eventually you have to do something. There are people who need to see God's love through us, the Church. People should see God through us and how we live our lives. You have the opportunity to do so much and have an amazing experience. Seize the day, "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14). 'Cause when it's done, it's done. Don't end up with regrets. Man, if I knew what I know now... Nevertheless, "one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God...For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 2:6-7