Being Real With God

"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves." - 2 Corinthians 13:5

My first ever blog post is about part of my testimony and this one will be sort of a continuation of that, as I will be sharing what I believe has been crucial to the growth in my walk with God, especially over the past few months. For the longest time in my relationship with Him, I experienced little growth. It was a turning point in my walk when God opened my eyes to see this.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Psalm 51, where David is just completely real with God. It's so powerful. He humbles himself before God and pours out his heart to Him, confessing his sin and asking for God's mercy and forgiveness. Through his brokenness, he ends up rejoicing in God because he knows His love. David is focused on God and worships Him. This psalm is a beautiful display of what our relationship with God should look like.

Looking back, I know throughout most of my walk I wasn't completely honest with myself and, most importantly, God. I thought I was a "strong Christian," having some knowledge concerning the Bible and being involved in ministry. People even viewed me as that, since that was what I tried to present myself as before others. But there came a point where God just rocked me. In examining my faith, I came to realize I had an incomplete view of God, my walk wasn't what I thought it was, and my faith was inadequate, as I had become very complacent in my walk. I was holding onto things that got in the way of my relationship with God, I was still a slave to lust, I idolized things while trying to convince myself otherwise, among many other things. I knew much of what was wrong in my life, but I tried to deny it or not do anything about it. Reading over some of my journal entries, I noticed I gave God a lot of lip service. It's easy to lie and be good with words, but many of my words were empty. I would pray for things but live as if I never did. Who was I trying to fool? I was lying and thought I was fine with where I was. But in reality, viewing my life through the lens of God's Word, I was nowhere near what God wanted me to be. The conviction was heavy and as God revealed all this to me, I began to pursue Him more. I had no other choice. I knew what was wrong in my life and what I had to do. So I humbled myself before Him, opened myself up, was honest in confessing, and surrendered. There's no point in trying to hide anything from Him because He knows everything. My ways, my heart, and my mind. But before God began growing me and working in me, I had to be real with Him. No more deception or excuses. There were things in my life I had to surrender and submit to Him. And it's definitely not easy but it's worth it. I know nothing is more valuable than my relationship with Him and the intimacy in that.

I know He's still not done with me and at this point I'm still far from where I desire to be. The fact that we are not good enough will never change, but it is important to not be content with that. If I'm going to proclaim Him as God and Lord, I have to live like it. Being completely real and honest is essential to my relationship with God, recognizing the realities of my life, my sin, and confessing so He would cleanse me and work in me. God will continue His redeeming and sanctifying work in us, making us more like Him, as long as we continue to seek Him out. The pursuit of God and holiness are my main focuses, and I pray to continue to grow in intimacy with Him as He chisels me into the man God wants me to be, for His glory.

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." - Ephesians 5:15-16

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