The Essence of Life

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fragment

Transient as your heart may be home still must have a name your soul, a center to find peace  in the midst of orbit through the turbulence of this world I wonder what hope you find in flight the continual here and there coming and going pushing and pulling leaving and longing the parting, and then the next how do you keep yourself whole in passing, and what is home if it is not a place? I wanted to be gravity, to be constant but us, twilight in transit and you, always crossing stars a sparkle too elusive to align like an enigma shooting through the galaxy tranversing curiosity, I saw you celestial in the constellation of your being do you ever imagine what you must look like  to the stars and the moon the same ones you try to reach the same ones your radiance eclipses and if I could I would give you both but stardust is too mercurial so I hold this space wistful, unrequited as it may be love is still here even if it's not how I dreamed.
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HERE.

"Show up. Dive in. Stay at it." In his farewell address, our beloved 44th President Barack Obama left us with this charge; words my heart resonated with because, even though he said this in the context of our participation in democracy and the political arena, that is what my life has been about for the past few years. It's what the Lord called me to and it's what I am learning to embrace more and more. You ever just sit and wonder how you ended up where you are right now? My goodness, I can't tell you how many times I tried to make other plans.. how many times I thought I'd be doing something else by now.. how many times I tried to avoid where I'm at right now.. but nope! God constantly reminds me that He's in control and let me tell you, it can be frustrating at times, but it is a very good thing. Let's rewind a little bit. Towards the end of high school, this genius thought he was going to go away for college - like UC Berkeley or UCLA. Wel...
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North of 30

Last year I wrote out 30 thoughts as I entered into year 30. Here are some that stood out.. 1. I am a mess, but I am deeply loved by God.  2. I love my people. 3. Who > What + Where 4. Who = Why 5. I am where I need to be.  .. 9. It is okay to spoil myself.  10. I am my own person.  11. I know I love much, but not always well. .. 16. Life does get overwhelming sometimes.  17. Time scares me. 18. I love the twins.  .. 20. Life is so precious.  21. I once dreaded this day because I felt like I could have done so much more with the time I had.  .. 24. I am worthy. 25. It is okay to let go. 26. It is okay that I've lost parts of who I was before.  27. Keep learning who I am and who I am becoming.  .. 29. I'll be alright.  30. I am at peace with where I am. 
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